Thursday, January 25, 2007

Polyethylene String Breast Implants
























I discovered something in the realm of breast augmentation that I didn't know.
It seems a local doctor here in Houston is the inventor of what is commonly known as the string breast implant.

What with the medical problems purportedly caused by silicon breast implants, Dr. Gerald W. Johnson of Houston had a revelation that it would be much safer if an implant was devised using proven materials known to be inert in the human body. He decided on high-density polyethylene (HDPE).

It just so happens that a former employer of mine, Phillips Petroleum was the first to produce medical grade high-density polyethylene mesh for surgical repairs. They called it Marlex. I carry some of the stuff around inside me in the form of a hernia repair, as does the good doctor.

So Dr. Johnson set about devising a way to use this material as an implant. He settled on a couple of variations of the same method and was awarded a patent. I downloaded the patent out of curiosity and was quite enlightened.

Now Dr. Johnson is still practicing in Houston, but the Polyethylene String Implant was denied FDA approval and was pulled off the market after some unforeseen, but highly visible side effects became evident which were much enjoyed by breast lovers.

Before we get into the side effects, we need to delve into the details of the implant the good Doctor devised. The HDPE he uses was basically a yarn. After making the incision beneath the breast, the Doctor would use a tissue separator to create a pocket beneath the breast tissue and above the pectoral chest muscle. He is basically detaching the overlying breast tissue from the chest wall creating a pocket into which the implant will be inserted ( see photos) Now, the yarn material can be put inside a conventional implant envelope, or a bio erodable one or into the tissue pocket directly. The bio-erodable one dissolves with time with the same result as the last method.

Now let's look at the methods. The first involves placing the empty envelope either the same type used for silicone implants only without the silicone, or a bio-erodable or dissolving type. Then the Doctor literally injects a sufficient quantity of yarn to create the required volume. Reports are that the breast feels like a normal breast, probably due to the fact that the weight is less than a conventional silicone implant, and the "cushion" of the natural breast tissue disguises the implant. So basically the plastic envelope is filled with a "hairball" of HDPE yarn which gives the necessary volume to increase the size of the breast.

The second method is, as I understand it, the one that resulted in the unforeseen but much appreciated side effects.

First a side bar. Imagine if you will a half gallon milk carton. We know how much it weights, we have all picked them. They weigh around 4.25 lbs each. Now imagine two gallon, no, two gallon and a half size jugs hanging off your chest. This is about what some of the mega sized strippers have. At around 25 lbs or 12.5 lbs each. Or are they?

It had always made me wonder how some of the super mega sized breast stars could support the appendages they had if they weighted that much. I have seen old former strippers with ultra large conventional silicone implants and it isn't pretty. The weight of the implants had stretched the skin of their chests to the point that it almost looks painful. They hang from their 50 something chests like great water filled balloons making the skin stretch to the near breaking point and this is with the support of a bra. I saw one old gal at Garden Ridge Pottery with her husband. She was wearing tank top. The twin masses of her breasts were suspended somewhere between her sternum and her belly button like two cantaloupes swaying ponderously inside the stretched skin of her chest. It may have been sexy once but please, that was a bit much to take even for a big breast lover.

Then after reading of Dr. Johnson's new implant it all made sense. The "hairball" string implant could be made larger at a fraction of the weight. In fact, most of the mega breasted strippers and porn stars do have his implants or a derivative there of.

The side effect of the envelope-less string implant was fluid collection. Apparently serum produced by the body collects in the void space around the string. This isn't a bad thing as it lubricates and cushions the string. Contrary to what you might read on Wikipedia, the string does not adsorb the serum or fluid, it is not adsorbent. The fluid just collects around the string in the pocket, and the size of the breast increases, continually. Yes folks, we have the potential for the infinitely expanding breast. Fluid can be removed of course by syringe, or put in for that matter. What the FDA did not like was the uncontrolled enlargement. I mean how is a girl to know what cup size bra to buy from week to week?

Seriously, you could see the problem with the unsuspecting housewife who got these things and went from a C-cup one day to an adult cartoonish DD cup of Little Annie Fannie proportions inside of 4 months. This isn't a bad thing if you make a living vying for the title of world's largest breasted stripper. But Mrs. Betty Churchgoer might have a hard time explaining her bra straining EE breasts at next years coffee social. Kind of a twist on the bottomless baskets of bread and fish Jesus as reported to have produced. Mrs. Betty Churchgoer has breast enough for every man in the congregation with plenty left over.

Judging from the internet these kinds of implants are still being used outside the US, in Europe and other places. So if you want your girl to have endlessly expanding fun bags schedule a vacation to Europe and have it done while you are there. Just remember to bring her a size assortment of bikini tops.

22 comments:

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  22. I know the odds of getting a response back to this are slim but I was wondering if you still have a copy of the patent. I would love to get a look at that.

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