The Evolution of Breasts

Hmmm, this should probably be an article in Playboy. I'm trying to raise the intellectual index of my Blog. So here goes.

There seems to be a hot scientific debate on the how and why the human breast is the way it is.

In high school circa the 1970's I remember reading The Naked Ape. I believe this started the current and ongoing debate. The thesis is that if all the girls at Hooter's were hunched over and carrying their trays on their heads as they knuckle crawled from table to table, the place would be called "Bun's" instead. It would not matter if they were all natural DDs or wore industrial strength push-ups like most of them do. We would only notice their protruding buttocks, as the Festrunk Brothers would say.

The author posited that when our ancestors began to walk erect, the buttocks and vulva were lost as the primary focus of the male's visual key. That must also take into account the fact that our sense of smell degraded to the point that we could (some of anyway) no longer smell that a female in the room was in heat. Excuse the fact that I am blurring time her a bit and not distinguishing things that have occured over the last 2000 years or so. Our ancestors ran around bare assed and did not bath. So a female in estrus would be, shall we say, a bit ripe. Not too hard to pick out even if you were looking out from under a protruding hairy brow. But when we started wearing fur or clothing, and walking erect, we lost our primary sexual index. Watch your dog. he doesn't check out the hot bitch's paps, he ges for ground zero and buries his wet nose in the gal's behind. That is not to say that we modern men don't want to do the same thing. Some of us do. But until women start walking backward, the balcony is what we see first.

The current idea is we key on big breasts as kind of index for whether this babe or that will be an adequate cafeteria for our future kids. But since breasts grow in size with pregnancy and lactation, how are we poor penile impulse driven men to tell the difference? Well we couldn't and can't. Unless she is in month 7 or is holding a rug rat to the tap. So we did the best we could in our perpetually circulatory deprived brain state, and selected the biggest or should we say fattest breast. A fat, large breast mimicking a lactating breast as it were. So, large breasts were selected for.

I guess this is hardwired in some of us as a sexual preference. It is in me.

Of course there are a plethora of other inputs that are proposed, cultural and societal preferences, a latterday mental conditioning.

For instance. Japan, not known for it's large breasted women, is breast crazy on a par with the United States. Is this a case of cultural monkey see monkey do? Does it have its roots in cultural envy. I mean the Japanese also have an ongoing fad of plastic surgery to alter their eyes to look more caucasoid. Look at the wildly popular Anime. Do any of the characters really look Japanese, or a caucasoid Asian hybrid? The heroines certainly are a bit more busty than the normal Japanese female. Check out www.tokyotopless.com for a glimpse of how boob mania has captured Japan. Some of the top models are Russian simply because they have the abnormally large natural breasts that are the current rage.

Maybe the root of the craze has it's origin in the Yakuza's forced silicone augmentation in the 1950's. If you don't think the Yakuza is still in control of the Japanese sex industry, think again. Historically they controlled the post war trade in Korea, Phillipines, and more recently Thailand.
I went to a REAL karioke bar in Palau, owned and operated by the Yakuza. It was straight out of the movie, Black Rain, except it was me and an anglo attorney instead of Michael Douglas and Andy Garcia. Kate Capshaw was no were to be seen, only a battalion of young Filipinas, imported and dormatoried to serve as hostesses.

But I digress. So we are walking upright with only the fleshy jiggly billboard under the female's chin to index on. Well maybe not. I might point out that women's undergarments, read that as panties, did not come along until the 1900's. Yes sir, those voluminous petticoats and pantaloons were only there to obscure the view. Without all that matierial there was nothing between the cool air and the holy grail but some curly pubes. Gives new insight into why dresses were long, and culture dictated crossed legs and closed thighs for women. This was so she could air it out boys. You think women have yeast infections today.....ye-e-e-esh!

So even as late as the turn of the 19th century you could probably get a whif of a nice ripe honey pot at the right point in time. Then came daily baths, deodorant, and feminine hygeine sprays.
All this stuff played havoc with our ability to get the scent if you know what I mean.

Yes boys and girls phermones do exist. Although our snozzes are not what they once were we still can smell and respond to the scent of the opposite sex. A recent blind study of sweaty t-shirt swatches by women showed they universally found the sweat scent of a male subject more appealing IF his immune system was the most DIS-similar to theirs. In other words nature is helping us select a mate whose immune system in combination with our own would give our offspring the highest chance of survival. Nice huh? So lust at first sight might simply be our nose telling your gonads who to fertilize. So much for beauty is in the eye....

I found a wife that way. She walked into the room and I went into heat and so did all the guys at my table. Not that she was overly hot or anything, there was just something about her. I found our later she had an over heated sex drive and must have left a cloud of phermones behind her wherever she went.

So what does all this have to do with breasts. My point is simply this, breasts are the primary visual index we have on female sexuality today. For example a prude is not going to get DD implants. A slut very well may. I'm kiddng of course, but you can see that a woman who gets implants must put a higher priority on her sexual attractiveness and it can therefore be extrapolated that she is more sexually active than Ms. Librarian. Look at Pam Anderson. Everybodys household slut. She displays her 44 EEs like they were Nobel Peace prizes. She profits off of an amateur porn flick of her sucking crank and screwing like a bunny and everybody forgives. The shrug at the fabricated stories of removed implants (they grew back bigger and better!). That is how common or fixated implants have become in the general psyche. I remember in the 60's the wave of noteriety that followed the first strippers that admitted to having implants. How things have changed. Today, every actress, female singer or celebrity worth a line of print or a papparazi snap has had implants. It is the ticket they all seem to have to get punched. I assume they were paid for by the same guy who screwed them on the casting couch to get the no talents in the lime light in the first place.

Take Simon Cowell and whats her name from American Idol. I can only assume they are all getting a piece of the finalists. Simon, the girls, we know Abdul is doing the young guys, and probbly the lesbian girls, so that leaves the black dude to do the gay guys. This is probably why he lost weight and cleaned up after season one.

Back to breasts. So you see how things have changed. We have covered up the snatch and deodorized it. That threw the emphasis on the old milk machines. Which leads us to advertising. They are now nature's own billboards, selling everything from toothpaste to cars. Just take a look at TV. Notice how commercials are more and more featuring at least a large C if not D cup? Case in point. The Office supply company with the commercial about the red button.
Check out the brunette sitting at the desk in the first commercial. The one where the guy gets transported to the file cabinet. She has at least D cups. Coincidence? Even the Disney World commercials have big jugged babes saundering by in the background.

Yes folks, it is becoming a breast man's world. In 500 years Eve may no longer have tempted Adam with an Apple. Yes, it may be re written that she tempted him with one or her EE cups.

I can see the illuminated manuscript page, Pamela Anderson with a fig leaf holding one of her silicone inflated orbs for Adam to munch on....